Emotion Regulation
Avoidant Personality Disorder
A long-standing pattern of feeling inadequate and expecting rejection, leading to avoidance of work, social and intimate situations.
What it can feel like
- Belief of being inferior or unlikable
- Avoiding new situations for fear of criticism
- Needing strong reassurance before joining in
- Few close relationships, and holding back even then
- Anxiety that limits work and social life
Not everyone has every symptom, and you do not need a label to deserve support.
Things that help
Test the prediction
Write what you expect will happen, then do it and record what actually did. Direct evidence beats reassurance.
Start with low-stakes contact
Small, repeated social exposures build tolerance faster than one big event.
Watch for the pre-emptive exit
Noticing the moment you decide to pull back gives you a choice about it.
Want to actually do these? Save them to your practices and tick them off as you go.
Add to my practicesWhen to reach for more support
Longer-term talking therapy helps considerably. Ask a GP about referral to a therapist experienced in personality difficulties.
Often looked at together
Borderline Personality Disorder
Intense, fast-changing emotions and relationships, often developing after early environments where feelings were not reliably met.
Intermittent Explosive Disorder
Repeated outbursts of anger out of proportion to the trigger, with real distress or consequences afterwards.